Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The Madman



I don’t remember how long I have been running. I could still hear the shouting and screaming of people who are chasing me. They are carrying with them sticks, pelting stones and hurling abuses at me. I cannot do anything but run away from them. My feet are bleeding because I am running bare feet. Blood is flowing down my head from the wounds those people made, but pain they have made in my heart is hurting me more. My legs can’t take me any further.

I could still hear shouting at a distance. They are screaming “Madman, Madman”. There is no one near me now. I can’t run any longer. There are a few people lying here, men like me whom the intelligent people here calls ‘insane’.

I can’t figure out which place this is. I am feeling hungry. I don’t remember the last time I ate. There is nothing to eat now. I quenched my thirst by drinking water from the gutter. My clothes are all soiled, patched up and smelly. I am sitting here and catching my breath. I am sitting in this place and trying to remember the first person who called me the madman. Was it my girl whom I loved, for being totally honest with her???
Or my so called friends, for I had views that was never popular with them????
I can’t remember which of them did.

I can’t help myself from laughing at the fact that I am called a madman by these people.
In this normal world I have seen the so called normal man betray his own country for his material benefits.
I have seen brothers killing brothers in the name of politics, religion and country.
I have seen people being classified and distinguished on the basis of the so called caste and origin.
I have seen people saying and trying to convince things which even they didn’t believe in.
I have seen wives betraying their husbands and vice versa.
I have seen men who backstab being glorified.
I have seen money being made by exploiting human emotions.
I have seen countries being conquered for fulfilling petty greed.
I have seen the new generation forget the past, history and culture and fall prey to the so called youth explosion.

May be I couldn’t do these and many other things, which the so called normal man do each and every day.
May be like the ideal citizens I didn’t keep myself quiet at this world order.
I don’t want to be such a normal man. I prefer the life of a madman in this mad world.

I am feeling sleepy again. I could again hear their voices, the voices of men who are chasing me. They have already seen me. I have to run again. I don’t know if I will be able to survive. My end is imminent, I know for sure. It is just a matter of time now. But still I am running hoping against all odds.
Running away from this mad world.

Monday, July 14, 2008

My Girl





It was nearing the end of a hectic work schedule and what that awaits me is a two day bash. This few moments that I should continue to finish seemed like hours. "Oh, god when will it finish", I was wondering. It was then that a girl came up to me and asked"Hope we can have a great weekend like what we had last time around "."Oh, I would have loved to, but you see I am helpless, I wont be here this weekend, should hurry back home to visit my parents, It's been awfully long time since I last met them". The girl left without passing back any comments .I felt I made a convincing lie to shrug off the girl. I was feeling great about myself for coming with such a good reason in no time at all. But the girl continued her venture. But luckily I was able to finish on time and make an exit, the day looked bright then. In short I got out from the office.

The climate at that period of time at that part of the country had become quite unbearable, I should say. To guard myself from the forces of the nature I had taken a jacket, but it didn't seem to help much. I took out a cigarette and lighted it, which helped I felt. As usual many people like me had flooded the streets. It wouldn't be much exaggerating if I would say it looked like a sea of men and women. I thought it wasn't a bad comparison either. Like streams joining to form rivers and rivers joining to form sea, people from different parts of the country have come here and have formed a part of this metro culture and like the drops of the sea whose origin river cannot be found out ,the people here have formed a culture which no one seemed to escape from.


I made my way into the stream of people who seemed to moving without a destination, as far as I was concerned I wasn't sure as to whether I had one or not. After throwing out the cigar I fetched my pocket for another one but there wasn't any, so I got myself out of the stream of people to get two packets of cigar. Well as I said I wasn't sure about my destination, I was taking a girl out on a date, whom I had seen once or twice and was an ex-date of one my friends and it was one of the reasons why I snubbed the offer from my colleague and I wasn't sure whether I was to meet her or not, because she told me she would ring me up but I hadn't received a call as of then. I had to buy a bottle of champagne or was it something else she asked me to buy?

It was then that my mobile phone started ringing, I was damn sure that it would be her, only to find out that it was my mom.
She asked the usual questions like is my work over and some other questions which I don't remember ,because I had ready made answers for those queries .It was followed by the general instructions, like the things I should remember while crossing road and other instruction that's fit more for a KG student rather than a 29 year old professional ,and so many other things which I didn't bother at all .To not to upset her in any way I gave the impression that I was very much listening and obeying that as well.

Well after attending that call, I was left wondering where I was. The place looked quite alien to me. So I was looking all around to find whether I could find a clue as to where I should go. It was then I found a person sitting in the passenger's seat of a car staring at me. It didn't take me much time to find out who it was. It was a girl whom I can never forget.
The sun had set but it was a face I could even recognize in the faintest of lights. A tide of feelings crept up my mind and I wasn't able to figure out what exactly that feeling was. I tried to smile at her but I was not sure if my face followed those orders from my brain. My attempt seemed to fail. For some obvious reasons she took her eyes away from me .She was holding a child who was looking at me as well .She didn't look much different though it seemed she had put on some weight.

I didn't know who she was to me. The time in minutes which I had talked to her could be counted with the fingers in the hand. But why is that I am sweating in such a chilly condition, is beyond explanation.
It has been about 12 years since we last met, but memories did remain .She didn't bother to invite me to the marriage either .I had come to know that she was in this city but had always prayed that such a meeting should never take place. But there are some things which are beyond our control. I still don't understand as to why she acted in such a strange manner, why is it that she still looks at me like a stranger though I never did anything to upset her than to express my feelings for her. I understood she still remains there in my heart. I knew it was useless thinking about it now. The quote from the film 'Little Manhattan' where the 10 year old boy says," There may be hundreds of girls around but only one can be my first love" made much sense. Otherwise I wouldn't be left in such a state now.

A man who didn't look much familiar to me was there in the driver's seat, and he was talking to someone over a phone and after the call ended he started the car. The child was still looking at me and was laughing like he had seen
a clown .I knew he had a point .I was still standing and gazing at her, but the crowd from behind was urging me to move on. I was moving as if I were under a spell. I was brought to senses by the ring of my phone and I understood it was the girl whom I was supposed to meet. I looked back to find out if she was there, but it was not to be.
Praying that everything goes good for her I continued my journey.